Friday, August 19, 2005

Hello

nobody on myspace except abbie responded to this. they should have.

JOIN THE SHAME TRAIN
ADD YOURS BELOW AND REPOST. THIS MUST HAPPEN OR ELSE THE EARTH WILL WAVER OFF ITS AXIS AND WE WILL ALL DIE. AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT.

List three embarrassing facts and/or anecdotes about yourself.

Julie Lauren Linewoman- in chronological order:

1. I really, really loved Queensryche's "Silent Lucidity" in an absolutely unironic way when it came out. I loved the video, I loved the music, and I thought the lyrics were deep.

2. In junior high, I had a recurring and elaborate fantasy that revolved around a newly discovered ability to DANCE(!!!). In this fantasy, I would SHOW ALL THOSE ASSHOLES WHO THOUGHT I WAS A DORK what a non-dork I was via my ability to do backflips and completely own those circles kids made around the gym floor during school dances- I would be in the middle of the ring made of my adoring peers doing the worm while the entire auditorium rang with the roaring chant "GO JULIE GO JULIE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!"

3. In Freshman year, my attempts to impress Missy Chamberlain- a senior girl who had a shaved head, and who wore lingerie tops, daisy dukes, gartered fishnet stockings and combat boots, and who, rumor had it, did more drugs than Keith Richards, and who I was pretty much obsessed with, like enough to warrant a restraining order- included such actions as "nonchalantly" (but really obviously so she would notice) popping pills around her (aspirin, but I prayed she would think it was percodan), smoking cigarettes on the curb in front of her work for hours on end while writing terrible poetry and "cool things" on my binder in black permanent marker because maybe she would walk by and say "oh, i totally agree- question authority!" or "you like suicidal tendencies? so do I!", and auditioning for the school play (in which she had a lead role). The extent of our relationship was as follows- One day she approached me backstage during rehearsal (I had landed the smallest speaking role in the play- Up the Down Staircase). "Hey," she said. "Aren't you Mrs. Vick's daughter?" My mother was an elementary school teacher in the district, so I was used to this. "Yes," I told her. "Yes I am." "Yeah," Missy said. " I had her for sixth grade. Your mom's a real cunt."
Two years later I saw her in a Taco Bell. She was wearing khakis and had a "Rachel" haircut. Something inside me died a little.

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Abbie -
1. Okay well, most people know and love this one. When I was in 1st grade I beat up the retarded kid who made fun of me. Not only did i get A LOT of shit for beating up the retarded kid for the next 4 years, the other retards ganged up on me and teased me clear through elementary school. I told that story a few years ago and some kid goes "what kind of loser were you that the retarded kid picked on you?" and i started crying. Two years later i saw the kid in a taco bell. He was working in the bathroom, scrubbing toilets. Something inside me laughed a little. (hahah okay the last part isnt true but julie has such a nice follow up)

2. I broke my tailbone playing ice hockey when i was 14. It was my first year of highschool, and i was really awkward and definitely not a cool kid. it makes you even less cool when you have to sit on a plastic blow up butt donut for the whole year. *sigh*

3. I fall down a lot and am remarkably clumsy as most of you know. I was playing tennis the other day and i was running for a ball that was outside of the court, trying to beat brett to it. then my feet went out and i fell directly on my ass. i thought maybe no one saw, but then there was a homeless dude behind brett pointing and laughing at me. Ty had told me "I dont know how someone can be as good at sports and as clumsy as you", i related this story to john, and as i finished the sentence i tripped and fell flat on my face. once i ran into a glass door and knocked myself unconcious in front of my whole volleyball team too.

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