and the idea held so much promise...

From today's paper:

Police in Toledo, Ohio, have rescued dozens of Australian wombats from a man who was trying unsuccessfully to train them to fight.

"The (expletive) who sold them to me said they were vicious killers... I paid 300 bucks for a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards who just stare at each other with a dull glare," the man said.