actual conversation at the convenience store:

The following conversation, between a freckled cashier with an unkempt dark red mullet and a broken front tooth and a portly, gold jewelry wearing african american security guard took place at approximately 11:45 pm last night at the Rebel gas station/ mini mart on the corner of Sahara and Hualipai.

Freckles: "Nah, man, you're wrong, man."
Gold Chains: "Shit, man. You don't know shit."
Freckles: "I know shit."
Gold Chains: "Ask that lady, man. She'll tell you you don't know shit."
Me: "Can I get a pack of Camel-"
Gold Chains: "Wait, man. Ask her."
Me: "Ask me?"
Freckles: "Nah, man. It's okay."
Gold Chains: "Seriously, ma'am, make him ask you."
Me: "Allright."
Freckles: "Well, isn't it true that when people talk about The Alps mountains it's just another way of saying, I mean a shorter way of talking about the Appalachians?"
Me: "Oh my god."
Gold Chains: "I know, right?"
Me: "The Alps are in Europe. There's the Italian Alps...the Swiss Alps..."


AT THIS POINT THE MAN BEHIND ME IN LINE BUYING NATURAL ICE BEER INTERJECTS-

Natty Ice: "That's not possible."
Me: "What's not possible?"
Natty Ice: "Switzerland and Italy are separated by an ocean."
Me: "Oh my god."
Gold Chains: "I know, right? We're the richest country in the world...and this is the conversation we're having."
Natty Ice: "You all don't know what you're talking about."
Gold Chains: "I don't know what I'm talking about? You don't even know what Europe is."
Natty Ice: "I know what Europe is."