actual overheard conversation from neighbor's garage

Actual conversation in neighbor’s garage:

The following conversation took place at around 11:30 in the morning between my neighbor, a 30-something cholo with a fat wife who is constantly screaming obscenities and three obnoxious kids who like to throw rocks and physically harm one another, and another 30-something dude who apparently lives in the neighborhood, as well. I wasn’t fortunate enough to hear the beginning of their conversation. This is what I did hear.

Other Dude: So, for 200 bucks they’ll do everything?

Neighbor: Yeah. The prices go up, you know? Like fifty bucks and you can get a handjob, a hundred you get a blowjob…

Other Dude: So, like, you walk in and they’re at the bar or what?

Neighbor: Well the place I go to, the girls are kind of lined up and you choose whichever one you want.

Other Dude: They good looking?

Neighbor: Some of them, I guess.

Other Dude: So, like, if I give them 200 bucks I can do whatever I want?

Neighbor: Yeah.

Other Dude: Can I lick pussy?

Neighbor: You don’t want to lick that pussy, man. You might as well lick that tire.

Other Dude: I know it. But I don’t care. I have needs, you know? Besides, they make the get tested, right? I’m a man, and a man needs a woman, you know what I mean?

Neighbor: Yeah.

Other Dude: And I’m sick of this shit. I mean, a nice dinner out costs, what, 65 bucks? I took a chick out the other night and we were sitting on her couch and I didn’t get blown or nothing..

Neighbor: (laughing) I feel you.

Other Dude: It’s fucking bullshit.

Neighbor: Yup.

Other Dude: So, 200 bucks is a better deal than not knowing if you’re wasting your money or having to worry about HIV or that date rape bullshit.

At this point there’s a moment of silence.

Other Dude: Yeah, I mean I’m gonna rent out that room upstairs. I figure I can get, what, 500 bucks a month for it? Maybe 550?

Neighbor: Don’t see why not.

Other Dude: Shit. For 500 bucks I can get 2 hookers. Do they do that shit, too?

Neighbor: Yeah.

Other Dude: You done that shit?

Neighbor: Not me, but my buddy.

Other Dude: Yeah, for 500 bucks I can get 2 hookers…. or a hooker and a Jet Ski.