sleeping is the enemy

so you know those dreams that start in medias res (i spent 2 years in grad school and all i got was this lousy way to say 'into the middle of things')? where all of a sudden you're standing in a wigwam like"whoops, i just accidentally killed this entire native american family and now i'm standing in a wigwam"? The other night I was having dream-sex with a dude from work who shall remain anonymous (mainly because I have neither the desire nor the intention to make this particular dream into a reality) but when i lit my post-coitus cigarette, who should the light from my match illuminate but BLAIR.

i swear to god i once had a dream where i screwed andy rooney from 60 Minutes and this was way worse. oh sure, he promised he wouldn't tell scarlett, but i knew there was no way he'd be able to keep his big mouth shut. and it made me sad, because i knew i'd have to kill him. i chose poison.

scarlett says that if blair ever turns up murdered she'll know i accidentally had sex with him.