am i the only person who is disturbed by this?

http://sizzlefizzle.com/net10e/

these net10 commercials are almost as bad as The Practice theme "song"

the westside just might be hell

I went to get my hair did today in Brentwood- famous because its only black occupant was accused of murder a few years back. I was early, so I parked my ass at a nearby starbucks to drink coffee and read the new Harper's.

This is what I witnessed:
a posse of high school girls in THE EXACT SAME OUTFIT (daisy dukes, bohemian camisole, cowboy boots) talking mad shit about whichever member of said posse happened to be out of earshot at any given moment. I don't remember the exact content of their "conversations," but the phrases "my mom is totally on the rag" and "I hate that skank" were especially memorable.

A college-aged boy and a college-aged girl engaged in a deep conversation about the college-aged girl's "spiritual advisor," a woman named Trina, who has "valuable insight" into humanity. BECAUSE TRINA SAYS WE ARE THE DESCENDANTS OF AN ANCIENT ALIEN RACE- and there are all these things we do as human beings that shorten our lifespans, which theoretically could be infinite if we understood and embraced the ways of our alien forefathers. Trina's theories sounded suspiciously similar to those of Scientology, but she twisted them just enough to avoid copyright infringement or some shit. The college-aged boy seemed a little less unbelievably stupid than his female counterpart- I think he viewed the entire conversation as a rung in the "getting laid" ladder. Apparently he'd just come back from a luxury cruise to the Galapagos Islands. The girl was talking about some spiritual retreat to Croatia she was preparing to leave for. What the fuck? I can't even begin to understand where these people came from.

this makes me want to kill myself

mainly because i will be there. opening night.

Director plans 'Pretty In Pink' sequel

Saturday, April 2 2005, 15:27 BST -- by Daniel Kilkelly

Director John Hughes has announced that classic '80s movie Pretty In Pink is to get a sequel.

The teen film followed high school student Andie, who developed a crush on the school's new guy, while her friend Duckie, who secretly loves Andie, is forced to step aside.

The sequel, which is planned for a 2006 release, will show fans what has changed for the characters now that their high school days are over. The movie's original stars - Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy and John Cryer - have all agreed to appear.

or else it gets the hose again...

this is for james, who doesn't have television. please tell me you don't see a resemblance between The Silence of the Lambs' Jame Gumb (also known as Buffalo Bill) and Celebrity Fit Club 2's Jani Lane (also known as the lead singer of Warrant). I just wish I had the computer know-how to link comparative audio clips of these two. They even sound alike.

catalogically impaired.

the delias catalog:
not just for 16 year old girls in the suburbs.
please tell me- are these green boots hideous?
and if so, why do i WANT THEM SO BAD? and what about this awesome hoodie? HELP!
and what about these tshirts? why are they so super-cute? why am i almost thirty? why why why???

GBLT

at jon's market buying blt stuff. jon's market is actually owned by a vietnamese man. he bought a von's market in the earlier 70's and the name change was, presumably, both economically and politically logical. jon's market is the worst. they don't even have sourdough bread. pretty much every time i'm in there i thank god i'm not on acid. john ford and i were at jon's market buying blt stuff and i'm reading the enquirer headlines.
"oh, hey. jude law got caught with the nanny," i say.
"whoa. fran drescher?"
"no, not the nanny. the nanny."

i hate the nanny. it's always on right after the goldens. which i do NOT hate. at all.

I'm pretty sure this is my uncle, btw.

oh, also. this hasn't ceased to be hilarious. and i doubt it ever will.

syria-sly, folks.

here's a blast from the past. i made this jpeg back in the lipstickandcigarettes days...the joke being "wow, this must be george bush's way of appeasing the environmentalists- just think of all the cardboard that will be saved and reused!" and i guess it's still in fashion. unlike those newsies hats everyone was wearing 2 years ago. which is a shame. every time i got off the bedford L stop i felt a tingle of anticipation that maybe, just maybe, the assembled mass of hipsters would suddenly start performing highlights from Oliver!

Hello

nobody on myspace except abbie responded to this. they should have.

JOIN THE SHAME TRAIN
ADD YOURS BELOW AND REPOST. THIS MUST HAPPEN OR ELSE THE EARTH WILL WAVER OFF ITS AXIS AND WE WILL ALL DIE. AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT.

List three embarrassing facts and/or anecdotes about yourself.

Julie Lauren Linewoman- in chronological order:

1. I really, really loved Queensryche's "Silent Lucidity" in an absolutely unironic way when it came out. I loved the video, I loved the music, and I thought the lyrics were deep.

2. In junior high, I had a recurring and elaborate fantasy that revolved around a newly discovered ability to DANCE(!!!). In this fantasy, I would SHOW ALL THOSE ASSHOLES WHO THOUGHT I WAS A DORK what a non-dork I was via my ability to do backflips and completely own those circles kids made around the gym floor during school dances- I would be in the middle of the ring made of my adoring peers doing the worm while the entire auditorium rang with the roaring chant "GO JULIE GO JULIE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!"

3. In Freshman year, my attempts to impress Missy Chamberlain- a senior girl who had a shaved head, and who wore lingerie tops, daisy dukes, gartered fishnet stockings and combat boots, and who, rumor had it, did more drugs than Keith Richards, and who I was pretty much obsessed with, like enough to warrant a restraining order- included such actions as "nonchalantly" (but really obviously so she would notice) popping pills around her (aspirin, but I prayed she would think it was percodan), smoking cigarettes on the curb in front of her work for hours on end while writing terrible poetry and "cool things" on my binder in black permanent marker because maybe she would walk by and say "oh, i totally agree- question authority!" or "you like suicidal tendencies? so do I!", and auditioning for the school play (in which she had a lead role). The extent of our relationship was as follows- One day she approached me backstage during rehearsal (I had landed the smallest speaking role in the play- Up the Down Staircase). "Hey," she said. "Aren't you Mrs. Vick's daughter?" My mother was an elementary school teacher in the district, so I was used to this. "Yes," I told her. "Yes I am." "Yeah," Missy said. " I had her for sixth grade. Your mom's a real cunt."
Two years later I saw her in a Taco Bell. She was wearing khakis and had a "Rachel" haircut. Something inside me died a little.

------------------
Abbie -
1. Okay well, most people know and love this one. When I was in 1st grade I beat up the retarded kid who made fun of me. Not only did i get A LOT of shit for beating up the retarded kid for the next 4 years, the other retards ganged up on me and teased me clear through elementary school. I told that story a few years ago and some kid goes "what kind of loser were you that the retarded kid picked on you?" and i started crying. Two years later i saw the kid in a taco bell. He was working in the bathroom, scrubbing toilets. Something inside me laughed a little. (hahah okay the last part isnt true but julie has such a nice follow up)

2. I broke my tailbone playing ice hockey when i was 14. It was my first year of highschool, and i was really awkward and definitely not a cool kid. it makes you even less cool when you have to sit on a plastic blow up butt donut for the whole year. *sigh*

3. I fall down a lot and am remarkably clumsy as most of you know. I was playing tennis the other day and i was running for a ball that was outside of the court, trying to beat brett to it. then my feet went out and i fell directly on my ass. i thought maybe no one saw, but then there was a homeless dude behind brett pointing and laughing at me. Ty had told me "I dont know how someone can be as good at sports and as clumsy as you", i related this story to john, and as i finished the sentence i tripped and fell flat on my face. once i ran into a glass door and knocked myself unconcious in front of my whole volleyball team too.