love is in the haricot verts

Today i waited on Princess Ann Claire. Haven't heard of Princess Ann Claire? I'll let our good friends at E! Entertainment Television introduce you:

The Facts: The granddaughter of HIH Princess Shams of the Pahlavi Dynasty, Princess Ann Claire is the eldest of three daughters raised in London.

The Royal Treatment: Ann Claire is rebelling against the stereotypical life of a traditional princess. She has moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as a country-music singer. And much to her parents' dissatisfaction, she dates questionable men who are the furthest thing from royalty. Her parents have delivered the following ultimatum: Find a suitable suitor, or move back to London with them. If she chooses neither, she'll be singing the blues, financially cut off and left to her own devices.

Some other facts about and relating to the princess:

• She's a terrible, terrible singer.
• She dines out with swarthy, obese men of uncertain nationality who wear mesh shirts and carry Louis Vuitton man purses.
• She tips 7%.
  
• She left a copy of her latest musical endeavor behind after tipping 7% and leaving the restaurant.
  
• My manager told me that taking the above mentioned CD home with me would qualify as "theft."
• My manager has promised me the exclusive ownership rights of the two-time-above-mentioned CD in ten days if she does not return to retrieve it.
  
• My manager, a German who I like in general but loathe in specific situations, knows all about the princess and claims the fact that she even exists, let alone that there is a reality TV show about her existence, makes him want to puke.
  
• I will send copies of the thrice-above-mentioned CD to every person I have ever met when I get my paws on it in ten days.